Liz and I went to Mandy and Don’s wedding rehearsal dinner, and lived to tell the tale. (Gosh, that sounds ominous, doesn’t it? Don’t worry, dear reader, it’s only the morons on the road that are bad news tonight.)
I managed to get home, changed, and back downtown really quickly. Once there, I quickly discovered that not only was there the traffic from an Indians game that was about to start, there was a Browns pre-season game too. Oh, and the planes for the air show were buzzing around and generally attracting onlookers.
Luckily, I chose the correct side of the street to park on, and it only cost me ten bucks (instead of twenty to be not much closer to where I was going).
It turns out I made it to the dinner early. Way early. Way way early. Which was not so bad, really, since I had a nice time sitting on the patio with Liz and watching the lake, and the start of the sunset, and so forth.
Eventually all the guests trickled in and we had a surprisingly tasty barbeque buffet, with little cheesecakes disguised in cupcake tinfoil for sin-tactular dessert. Mmmm.
Mandy and Don were in that tumultuous world of stress that envelops the bride and groom in the last days before they are wedded, but they did a great job holding it all together tonight, and as usual it is a delight to see them together. It’s really, really neat to see two people who are meant to be together. Now I know what Liz and I must look like.
The only downside to the night was getting back onto the highway. The football game was still going, so that end of the traffic wasn’t bad, and the crowd from the Indians game was just starting to disintegrate, so I felt relatively lucky there.
No, the fun part was the on-ramp to the innerbelt, where with no lane of one’s own to enter into, the choice is whether to floor it and hop right on, or slow it down a little and slip into the traffic. So I was coming up the onramp, checking my mirror and shooting glances back across to check my blind spot and see how the traffic is doing. Aha! An opening, just the right size! I just have to punch it, and it’s mine! Except…
Except there were two morons in a Dodge Stratus.
Who didn’t understand how to get on the freeway.
So there they were, just outside of the on-ramp, partly in the way of the rightmost lane of traffic, and one hundred percent in the way of anybody behind them.
Stopped.
That’s right. This ignorant fucknozzle was in the on-ramp, completely stopped.
I think I was probably doing about 55 at that point, and let me say, it was an excellent opportunity to test out my brakes (they work great), my horn (perfect), and the driving skills of those around me. I nearly hit the people in front of me as I slammed back down to a near-stop, and in turn was nearly hit by the people behind me. The air was filled with a harmony of honking horns. Thankfully, Moron Lad found his gas pedal and got moving again, just in time for me to switch from brakes to accelerator and get the hell out of the way of the people behind me.
This kind of thing is why I feel America needs public canings.
On the plus side, it definitely does make me love my Jetta all the more, for having the handling and the oomph to get me through that without too much hassle. Hell, it probably liked it.
Anyway, tomorrow is the big day, so I need to be good and get plenty of rest!
- Mood:hopeful
- Music:The Cure - “This Twilight Garden”
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1. People who cannot merge are at the TOP of my list of “Not-Quite-Serious Reasons for Mandatory Sterilization.” Second on my list are people who don’t use turn signals. I feel that society as a whole would be much better off if the “Can’t-Merge” gene were culled from the reproductive pool.
2. Please convey my congragulations & good wishes to the happy couple (Yell to them “MAZEL TOV!!!!” in a loud voice!
). I wish I was still in Cleveland to celebrate will you all (and that I had kept in touch with Mandy & Don, if only to borrow his power tools. 
)